Does the wife have an obligation to cook?

Arguments of those who believe cooking is not obligatory:

• The foundation of the marriage contract is intimacy, not domestic service.
• There is no explicit instruction making it obligatory for women to cook.
• The Prophet ﷺ employed servants who handled the cooking.
• Household chores were not solely the responsibility of women; men also took part. They would milk their sheep, mend their clothes, and perform other tasks.

  Al-Aswad reported: "I asked Aisha what the Prophet used to do when he was with his family. She then replied, 'He used to do chores for his family and when it was time for prayers, he would go out.'" [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 539 of Bukhari]

  Hisham ibn 'Urwa narrated from his father: "I asked Aisha what the Prophet did at home. She replied, "He repaired his sandals and worked as every man works in his house."" [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 540 of Bukhari]

  'Amra reported: "Aisha was asked, 'What did the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?' She replied, "He was a man like other men. He removed the lint from his clothes and milked his sheep." [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 541 of Bukhari]

Arguments of those who believe cooking is obligatory:

• Fatima was instructed to continue her household chores for Ali, and she was not provided a servant to assist her.

  حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ خَلَفٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الأَعْلَى، عَنْ سَعِيدٍ، - يَعْنِي الْجُرَيْرِيَّ - عَنْ أَبِي الْوَرْدِ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَعْبُدَ، قَالَ قَالَ لِي عَلِيٌّ رضى الله عنه أَلاَ أُحَدِّثُكَ عَنِّي وَعَنْ فَاطِمَةَ بِنْتِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَكَانَتْ مِنْ أَحَبِّ أَهْلِهِ إِلَيْهِ قُلْتُ بَلَى ‏.‏ قَالَ إِنَّهَا جَرَّتْ بِالرَّحَى حَتَّى أَثَّرَ فِي يَدِهَا وَاسْتَقَتْ بِالْقِرْبَةِ حَتَّى أَثَّرَ فِي نَحْرِهَا وَكَنَسَتِ الْبَيْتَ حَتَّى اغْبَرَّتْ ثِيَابُهَا فَأَتَى النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم خَدَمٌ فَقُلْتُ لَوْ أَتَيْتِ أَبَاكِ فَسَأَلْتِيهِ خَادِمًا فَأَتَتْهُ فَوَجَدَتْ عِنْدَهُ حُدَّاثًا فَرَجَعَتْ فَأَتَاهَا مِنَ الْغَدِ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا كَانَ حَاجَتُكِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَسَكَتَتْ فَقُلْتُ أَنَا أُحَدِّثُكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ جَرَّتْ بِالرَّحَى حَتَّى أَثَّرَتْ فِي يَدِهَا وَحَمَلَتْ بِالْقِرْبَةِ حَتَّى أَثَّرَتْ فِي نَحْرِهَا فَلَمَّا أَنْ جَاءَكَ الْخَدَمُ أَمَرْتُهَا أَنْ تَأْتِيَكَ فَتَسْتَخْدِمَكَ خَادِمًا يَقِيهَا حَرَّ مَا هِيَ فِيهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ اتَّقِي اللَّهَ يَا فَاطِمَةُ وَأَدِّي فَرِيضَةَ رَبِّكِ وَاعْمَلِي عَمَلَ أَهْلِكِ فَإِذَا أَخَذْتِ مَضْجَعَكِ فَسَبِّحِي ثَلاَثًا وَثَلاَثِينَ وَاحْمَدِي ثَلاَثًا وَثَلاَثِينَ وَكَبِّرِي أَرْبَعًا وَثَلاَثِينَ فَتِلْكَ مِائَةٌ فَهِيَ خَيْرٌ لَكِ مِنْ خَادِمٍ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَتْ رَضِيتُ عَنِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَعَنْ رَسُولِهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏.‏
  
  Abu Dawud mentioned: Yahya ibn Khalaf narrated to us, Abd al-A‘la narrated to us, from Sa‘id (meaning al-Jurayri), from Abu al-Ward, from Ibn A'bud ⓘ, who said: ʿAlī, radiyAllahu 'anhu, said to me, “Shall I tell you about myself and about Fāṭimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him? She was among the dearest of his family to him.” I said, “Yes.” He said: “She used to grind at the millstone until it left marks on her hands, draw water from the waterskin until it left marks on her neck, and sweep the house until her clothes became dusty. Servants came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and I said: ‘If you had gone to your father and asked him, he would have sent a servant.’ So she went to him but found no young servant there and returned. The next day, he sent someone to her and said: ‘Your need has been met.’ She remained silent. I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, she used to grind at the millstone until it left marks on her hands, and she carried the waterskin until it left marks on her neck. When the servants came to you, I ordered her to come to you to employ a servant to shield her from the hardship she was in.’ He said: ‘Fear Allah, O Fāṭimah, and fulfill the obligation to your Lord, and do the work of your household. When you take your bed, recite Subḥānallāh thirty-three times, al-Ḥamdu lillāh thirty-three times, and Allāhu Akbar thirty-four times. That makes one hundred, and it is better for you than a servant.’ She said: ‘I am pleased with Allah, the Exalted, and with His Messenger.’” [Sunan Abi Dawud 2988 (weak narration)]

  حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ شُعْبَةَ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي الْحَكَمُ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيٌّ، أَنَّ فَاطِمَةَ ـ عَلَيْهِمَا السَّلاَمُ ـ أَتَتِ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم تَشْكُو إِلَيْهِ مَا تَلْقَى فِي يَدِهَا مِنَ الرَّحَى، وَبَلَغَهَا أَنَّهُ جَاءَهُ رَقِيقٌ فَلَمْ تُصَادِفْهُ، فَذَكَرَتْ ذَلِكَ لِعَائِشَةَ، فَلَمَّا جَاءَ أَخْبَرَتْهُ عَائِشَةُ ـ قَالَ ـ فَجَاءَنَا وَقَدْ أَخَذْنَا مَضَاجِعَنَا، فَذَهَبْنَا نَقُومُ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ عَلَى مَكَانِكُمَا ‏"‏‏.‏ فَجَاءَ فَقَعَدَ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَهَا حَتَّى وَجَدْتُ بَرْدَ قَدَمَيْهِ عَلَى بَطْنِي فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَلاَ أَدُلُّكُمَا عَلَى خَيْرٍ مِمَّا سَأَلْتُمَا، إِذَا أَخَذْتُمَا مَضَاجِعَكُمَا ـ أَوْ أَوَيْتُمَا إِلَى فِرَاشِكُمَا ـ فَسَبِّحَا ثَلاَثًا وَثَلاَثِينَ، وَاحْمَدَا ثَلاَثًا وَثَلاَثِينَ، وَكَبِّرَا أَرْبَعًا وَثَلاَثِينَ، فَهْوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمَا مِنْ خَادِمٍ ‏"‏‏.‏
  
  Ali narrated: Fatima went to the Prophet (ﷺ) complaining about the bad effect of the stone hand-mill on her hand. She heard that the Prophet (ﷺ) had received a few slave girls. But (when she came there) she did not find him, so she mentioned her problem to `Aisha. When the Prophet (ﷺ) came, `Aisha informed him about that. So the Prophet (ﷺ) came to us when we (Ali and Fatima) had gone to bed. We wanted to get up (on his arrival) but he said, 'Stay where you are." Then he came and sat between me and her and I felt the coldness of his feet on my `Abdomen (due to slight contact). He said, "Shall I direct you to something better than what you have requested? When you go to bed say 'Subhan Allah' thirty-three times, 'Al hamdulillah' thirty three times, and Allahu Akbar' thirty four times, for that is better for you than a servant." [Sahih al-Bukhari 5361]

• The Prophet ordered Aisha to serve him and his guests.

  حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، وَحَدَّثَنَا مُعَاذُ بْنُ هِشَامٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي، عَنْ يَحْيَى بْنِ أَبِي كَثِيرٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو سَلَمَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ يَعِيشَ بْنِ طِخْفَةَ بْنِ قَيْسٍ الْغِفَارِيِّ، قَالَ كَانَ أَبِي مِنْ أَصْحَابِ الصُّفَّةِ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ انْطَلِقُوا بِنَا إِلَى بَيْتِ عَائِشَةَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَانْطَلَقْنَا فَقَالَ ‏"‏ يَا عَائِشَةُ أَطْعِمِينَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَجَاءَتْ بِحَشِيشَةٍ فَأَكَلْنَا ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ يَا عَائِشَةُ أَطْعِمِينَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَجَاءَتْ بِحَيْسَةٍ مِثْلِ الْقَطَاةِ فَأَكَلْنَا ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ يَا عَائِشَةُ اسْقِينَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَجَاءَتْ بِعُسٍّ مِنْ لَبَنٍ فَشَرِبْنَا ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ يَا عَائِشَةُ اسْقِينَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَجَاءَتْ بِقَدَحٍ صَغِيرٍ فَشَرِبْنَا ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ إِنْ شِئْتُمْ بِتُّمْ وَإِنْ شِئْتُمُ انْطَلَقْتُمْ إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ ‏"‏
  
  Yaʿīsh ibn Ṭikhfah ibn Qays al-Ghifārī narrated: My father was one of the people of al-Ṣuffah. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: "Let us go to the house of ʿĀʾishah." So we went, and he said: "O ʿĀʾishah, feed us." She brought some hashīshah (a simple food, possibly herbs mixed with flour) and we ate. Then he said: "O ʿĀʾishah, feed us." She brought some ḥaysah (a mixture of dates and fat) about the size of a small bird, and we ate. Then he said: "O ʿĀʾishah, give us something to drink." She brought a large wooden vessel (ʿus) of milk and we drank. Then he said: "O ʿĀʾishah, give us something to drink." She brought a small cup and we drank. Then he said: "If you wish, you may spend the night here; and if you wish, you may go to the mosque." [Sunan Abi Dawud 5040]

• "If a husband commands his wife to move a rock from one mountain to another, she is obligated to obey; all the more so when he asks her to do the cooking."

  23950 حدثنا عبد الصمد وعفان قالا حدثنا حماد قال عفان أخبرنا المعنى عن علي بن زيد عن سعيد عن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كان في نفر من المهاجرين والأنصار فجاء بعير فسجد له فقال أصحابه يا رسول الله تسجد لك البهائم والشجر فنحن أحق أن نسجد لك فقال اعبدوا ربكم وأكرموا أخاكم ولو كنت آمرا أحدا أن يسجد لأحد لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها ولو أمرها أن تنقل من جبل أصفر إلى جبل أسود ومن جبل أسود إلى جبل أبيض كان ينبغي لها أن تفعله
  
  Imam Ahmad narrated: ʿAbd al-Ṣamad and ʿAffān narrated to us, both saying: Ḥammād narrated to us — and ʿAffān said: Al-Ma'na conveyed to us — from ʿAlī ibn Zayd (ibn Jud'an) ⓘ, from Saʿīd (ibn Al-Musayyib), from ʿĀʾishah: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was among a group of the Muhājirīn and the Anṣār when a camel came and prostrated to him. His companions said: “O Messenger of Allah, the animals and trees prostrate to you, so we are more deserving to prostrate to you.” He said: “Worship your Lord and honor your brother. And if I were to command anyone to prostrate to another, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate to her husband. And if he were to order her to move [a rock] from a yellow mountain to a black mountain, and from a black mountain to a white mountain, it would be necessary for her to do so.” [Musnad Ahmad 23950 (weak narration)]

The husband has the right to be obeyed by his wife, without a doubt. There are matters in which she must comply, and others in which she is not obligated to obey.

For instance, he cannot command her to give him money, to work, or dictate how she should manage her finances.

She should obey him in matters that are good and easy, such as assisting him in light tasks, like serving guests with simple food and drinks (biscuits, tea, or some sweets).

Cooking, however, can become a burdensome task, especially when preparing large meals that require significant time and effort.

Regarding Fatima, she was not provided a servant because the Prophet deemed it better for her situation. This was specific to her, as he did not refuse such assistance for his wives.

He never made household chores obligatory for her; rather, they were performed according to customary practice. Women used to prepare dough, grind date pits for animal feed, bake bread, etc. The Prophet encouraged Fatima to continue with such tasks.

ولنا أن المعقود عليه من جهتها الاستمتاع فلا يلزمها غيره كسقي دوابه وحصاد زرعه فأما قسم النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بين علي وفاطمة فعلى ما يليق بها من الاخلاق المرضية ومجرى العادة لا على سبيل الإيجاب كما قد روي عن أسماء بنت أبي بكر أنها كانت تقوم بغرس الزبير وتلتقط له النوى وتحمله على رأسها ولم يكن ذلك واجباً عليها وكذلك لا يجب على الزوج القيام بمصالح خارج البيت ولا الزيادة على ما يجب لها من النفقة والكسوة ولكن الاولى فعل ما جرت به العادة بقيامها به لأنه العادة ولا تصلح الحال إلا به ولا تنتظم المعيشة بدونه.
[الشرح الكبير - عبد الرحمن بن قدامه - ج ٨ - الصفحة ١٤٦]

Ibn Qudamah said: "Our position is that what is contractually due from her side is intimacy, and nothing beyond that is binding upon her — such as watering his animals or harvesting his crops. As for the division of duties made by the Prophet ﷺ between ʿAlī and Fāṭimah, it was based on noble character and customary practice, not as a legal obligation. It has also been reported that Asmāʾ bint Abī Bakr used to care for al-Zubayr’s horse, gather date pits for him, and carry them on her head — but this was not obligatory upon her. Likewise, it is not obligatory upon the husband to handle affairs outside the home, nor to provide more than the required amount of maintenance and clothing. However, it is preferable for the wife to do what is customarily expected of her, because it is the norm, and the household cannot function properly without it, nor can daily life be orderly in its absence." [Al-Sharh al-Kabir - Ibn Qudamah - Volume 8 - Page 146]

Regarded as one of the foremost Hanbali scholars, Ibn Qudamah explains that wives should perform what is customary for them, but it is not obligatory.

We also hold that it is commendable for wives to attempt cooking, as far as it is manageable for them. Such effort is praiseworthy and rewarded, yet it remains non-obligatory.

Ideally, both spouses should seek a practical solution to this task, whether by hiring a servant, sharing the workload, or preparing meals that are easier to manage.

حَدَّثَنَا نَصْرُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ إِسْمَاعِيلَ بْنِ أَبِي خَالِدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، يُخْبِرُهُمْ ذَاكَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ إِذَا كَفَى أَحَدَكُمْ خَادِمُهُ طَعَامَهُ حَرَّهُ وَدُخَانَهُ فَلْيَأْخُذْ بِيَدِهِ فَلْيُقْعِدْهُ مَعَهُ فَإِنْ أَبَى فَلْيَأْخُذْ لُقْمَةً فَلْيُطْعِمْهَا إِيَّاهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏ وَأَبُو خَالِدٍ وَالِدُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ اسْمُهُ سَعْدٌ ‏.‏

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "If the servant of one of you has endured heat and smoke in preparing the food, let him sit with you while eating, and if he refuses, take a piece of the food and give it to to the servant to eat from." [Sunan Tirmidhi 1853 (Hasan Sahih)]

Good treatment of servants is greatly encouraged, even when they are hired to perform such tasks. This encouragement is even stronger when it comes to the wife.

Ibn Qudamah, a prominent Hanbali scholar, likewise maintains that women are not obligated to cook:

وليس على المرأة خدمة زوجها في العجن والخبز والطبخ وأشباهه نص عليه أحمد وقال أبو بكر بن أبي شيبة وأبو إسحاق الجوزجاني عليها ذلك
[الشرح الكبير - عبد الرحمن بن قدامه - ج ٨ - الصفحة ١٤٥]

Ibn Qudamah said: "A woman is not obligated to serve her husband in tasks such as kneading dough, baking, cooking, and the like — this was explicitly stated by Aḥmad. Abū Bakr ibn Abī Shaybah and Abū Isḥāq al-Jūzajānī held that such tasks are obligatory upon her." [Al-Sharh al-Kabir - Ibn Qudamah - Volume 8 - Page 145]