Must the husband seek permission of his wife for polygamy?
Polygamy is an Islamic practice, but it was also practiced by many cultures and peoples before Islam. Does a husband need to ask his wife if she is comfortable with him taking a second, third, or fourth wife?
Communication is key in any relationship. It would be unwise for a husband to pursue polygamy if he knows his wife would not be able to tolerate it.
If the wife cannot bear the thought of her husband taking another wife, it would be wise for the husband not to proceed. If he does marry another wife despite this, it may place an overwhelming burden on his wife, making it difficult for her to fulfill her husband's rights.
When the wife tolerates polygamy
It is not necessary for the husband to ask for permission from his wife to take another wife in this case, as she tolerates it, and there is no need for explicit consent.
However, when the husband does take another wife, it is necessary to inform his first wife. Secret marriages are not permitted in Islam.
When the wife does not tolerate polygamy
Although the husband has the right to take another wife if he is able to, this does not mean the wife has no say in the matter.
She has the right to include a condition in the marriage contract prohibiting polygamy. However, if she did not include this condition and later finds she cannot tolerate it, she can choose to file for divorce (khula’, and returning the dowry) if he insists on marrying another wife.
When the wife stipulated a condition
It becomes obligatory for the husband to seek his wife's permission to marry a second, third, or fourth wife if she stipulated a condition in the marriage contract disallowing polygamy.
In this case, he must seek her permission and consent; otherwise, he would be committing a sin. If he marries another wife despite this condition being in the contract, the wife has the right to leave him without returning the dowry, or she can choose to remain in the marriage.
Islam is not a prison
The bottom line is that husbands must take into consideration how their wife views polygamy and whether she can tolerate it.
Islam is not a prison, nor can it ever be. Both the wife and the husband have their respective rights. Islam allows the wife to seek khula' (divorce) if she cannot tolerate her husband taking another wife. However, this may mean giving up financial stability, losing her partner, or having to care for her children alone.
The wife should weigh these considerations carefully when thinking about divorce, but if she finds polygamy intolerable, then divorcing may be the wiser and better choice.
