Stipulating against polygamy

أن يشترط لها أن لا يخرجها من دارها أو بلدها أو لا يسافر بها ، أو لا يتزوج عليها ، ولا يتسرى عليها ، فهذا يلزمه الوفاء لها به ، فإن لم يفعل فلها فسخ النكاح . يروى هذا عن عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه وسعد بن أبي وقاص ، ومعاوية وعمرو بن العاص رضي الله عنهم وبه قال شريح ، وعمر بن عبد العزيز ، وجابر بن زيد ، وطاوس ، والأوزاعي ، وإسحاق .
[المغني - المجلد ٧ - الصفحة ٧١]

Ibn Qudamah said: “If it is stipulated for her that he shall not take her out of her house or town, or not travel with her, or not take another wife, or not have sexual relations with another, then he is obliged to fulfill it. If he does not, she has the right to annul the marriage. This ruling is reported from ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb, Saʿd ibn Abī Waqqās, Muʿāwiya, and ʿAmr ibn al-ʿĀṣ (may Allah be pleased with them). It is also the view of Shurayḥ, ʿUmar ibn ʿAbd al-ʿAzīz, Jābir ibn Zayd, Ṭāwūs, al-Awzāʿī, and Isḥāq.” [Al-Mughni - Volume 7 - Page 71]

Umar ibn al-Khattab

10608 عبد الرزاق ، عن أيوب ، عن إسماعيل بن عبيد الله ، عن عبد الرحمن بن غنم قال : شهدت عمر بن الخطاب واختصم إليه في امرأة شرط لها زوجها أن لا يخرجها من دارها ، قال عمر : " لها شرطها " ، قال رجل : لئن كان هكذا لا تشاء امرأة تفارق زوجها إلا فارقته ، فقال عمر : " المسلمون عند مشارطهم ، عند مقاطع حدودهم " .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٧]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: From Ayyūb, from Ismāʿīl ibn ʿUbayd Allāh, from ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn Ghunnam, who said: I witnessed ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb, and a dispute was brought before him concerning a woman whose husband had stipulated that he would not take her out of her home. ʿUmar said: “She has her condition.” A man said: If that is so, no woman would want to separate from her husband except that she would leave him. ʿUmar replied: “The Muslims are bound by their stipulations, as they are bound by their limits.” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 227]

٦٦٢ - حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ، نا سُفْيَانُ عَنْ يَزِيدَ بْنِ يَزِيدَ بْنِ جَابِرٍ، عَنْ إِسْمَاعِيلَ بْنِ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي الْمُهَاجِرِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ غَنْمٍ قَالَ: شَهِدْتُ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ أُتِيَ فِي امْرَأَةٍ جَعَلَ لَهَا زَوْجُهَا دَارَهَا، فَقَالَ عُمَرُ: لَهَا شَرْطُهَا، فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ: إِذًا يُطَلِّقْنَنَا، فَقَالَ عُمَرُ: «إِنَّمَا مَقَاطِعُ الْحُقُوقِ عِنْدَ الشُّرُوطِ»
[سنن سعيد بن منصور – المجلد ١ – الصفحة ٢١١]

Sa'eed ibn Mansur mentioned: From Sufyān, from Yazīd ibn Yazīd ibn Jābir, from Ismāʿīl ibn ʿUbayd Allāh ibn Abī al-Muhājir, from ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn Ghunnam, who said: I witnessed ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb, radiyAllahu 'anhu. A case was brought regarding a woman whose husband had stipulated her home. ʿUmar said: “She has her condition.” A man said: Then she will file for divorce. ʿUmar said: “Rights are binding upon its conditions.” [Sunan Sa'eed ibn Mansur - Volume 1 - Page 211]

٦٦٣ - حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ قَالَ: نا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَيُّوبَ، عَنْ إِسْمَاعِيلَ بْنِ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ غَنْمٍ قَالَ: كُنْتُ جَالِسًا عِنْدَ عُمَرَ حَيْثُ تَمَسُّ رُكْبَتِي رُكْبَتَهُ فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ لِأَمِيرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ: تَزَوَّجْتُ هَذِهِ وَشَرَطْتُ لَهَا دَارَهَا، وَإِنِّي أَجْمَعُ لِأَمْرِي أَوْ لَشَأْنِي أَنِّي أَنْتَقِلُ إِلَى أَرْضِ كَذَا وَكَذَا ⦗٢١٢⦘ فَقَالَ: لَهَا شَرْطُهَا، فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ: هَلَكَتِ الرِّجَالُ إِذًا، لَا تَشَاءُ امْرَأَةٌ أَنْ تُطَلِّقَ زَوْجَهَا إِلَّا طَلَّقَتْ، فَقَالَ عُمَرُ: «الْمُسْلِمُونَ عَلَى شَرْطِهِمْ عِنْدَ مَقَاطِعِ حُقُوقِهِمْ»
[سنن سعيد بن منصور – المجلد ١ – الصفحة ٢١١]

Sa'eed ibn Mansur mentioned: From Ḥammād ibn Zayd narrated, from Ayyūb, from Ismāʿīl ibn ʿUbayd Allāh, from ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn Ghunnam, who said: I was sitting with ʿUmar and his knees touched mine. A man said to the Commander of the Faithful: I married this woman and stipulated for her her home, and I intend to move to such-and-such land. ʿUmar said: “She has her condition.” A man said: Then men are ruined; no woman would want to divorce her husband except that she would. ʿUmar said: “The Muslims are bound by their stipulations regarding the severance of rights.” [Sunan Sa'eed ibn Mansur - Volume 1 - Page 211]

'Amr ibn al-'As

٦٦٤ - حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ قَالَ: نا سُفْيَانُ قَالَ: نا عَبْدُ الْكَرِيمِ الْجَزَرِيُّ، عَنْ أَبِي عُبَيْدَةَ، أَنَّ مُعَاوِيَةَ أُتِيَ فِي ذَلِكَ فَاسْتَشَارَ عَمْرَو بْنَ الْعَاصِ فَقَالَ: «لَهَا شَرْطُهَا»
[سنن سعيد بن منصور – المجلد ١ – الصفحة ٢١٢]

Sa'eed ibn Mansur mentioned: From Sufyān, from ʿAbd al-Karīm al-Jazrī, from Abū ʿUbaydah that Muʿāwiya was presented with that case (the woman stipulating to not be taken from her house), so he consulted ʿAmr ibn al-ʿĀṣ, who said: “She has her condition (it's binding).” [Sunan Sa'eed ibn Mansur - Volume 1 - Page 212]

Mu'awiyah

10612 عبد الرزاق ، عن ابن جريج ، والثوري ، أن عبد الكريم ، أخبرهما ، عن أبي عبيدة بن عبد الله بن مسعود قال : أتي معاوية في امرأة شرط لها زوجها : أن لها دارها ، فسأل عمرو بن العاص ، فقال : " أرى أن يفي لها بشرطها " .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٨]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: From Ibn Jurayj and al-Thawrī, that ʿAbd al-Karīm informed them, from Abū ʿUbayda ibn ʿAbd Allāh ibn Masʿūd, who said: A case came to Muʿāwiya regarding a woman whose husband had stipulated: she has her own home. He asked ʿAmr ibn al-ʿĀṣ, who said: “I think he should fulfill her condition.” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 228]

Shurayh

10606 عبد الرزاق ، عن هشام ، عن محمد ، عن شريح : " أنه أجاز الشرط ، وقضى لها به " .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٦]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: From Hishām, from Muḥammad, from Shurayḥ: “He permitted the condition and ruled in her favor according to it (her condition to not take her out of her house).” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 226]

٦٦٥ - حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ قَالَ: نا خَالِدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ قَيْسٍ الْمَاصِرِ، قَالَ: شَهِدْتُ شُرَيْحًا وَأَتَاهُ رَجُلٌ وَقَالَ: إِنِّي رَجُلٌ مِنْ أَهْلِ الشَّامِ، فَقَالَ: «مَرْحَبًا بِالْبَقِيَّةِ» قَالَ: إِنِّي تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً، فَقَالَ: «بِالرِّفَاءِ وَالْبَنِينِ» قَالَ: شَرَطْتُ لَهَا دَارَهَا، قَالَ: «الْمُسْلِمُونَ عِنْدَ شُرُوطِهِمْ» قَالَ: اقْضِ بَيْنَنَا، قَالَ: «قَدْ فَعَلْتُ»
[سنن سعيد بن منصور – المجلد ١ – الصفحة ٢١٢]

Sa'eed ibn Mansur mentioned: From Khālid ibn ʿAbd Allāh, from ʿUmar ibn Qays al-Māṣir, who said: I witnessed Shurayḥ, and a man came to him and said: I am a man from the people of al-Shām. He said: “Welcome, oh one who is from the rest of the people.” He said: “I married a woman, with joy, and I have children with her. I agreed with her condition not to take her from her home.” He (Shurayh) said: “The Muslims are bound by their stipulations.” He (the man) said: “Judge between us.” He said: “I have just done so.” [Sunan Sa'eed ibn Mansur - Volume 1 - Page 212]

Tawus

10617 عبد الرزاق ، عن ابن جريج قال : أخبرني أبو الزبير ، أنه سأل طاوسا قال : قلت : المرأة تشترط عند النكاح : أنا عند أهلي لا تخرجني من عندهم ، فقال : " كل امرأة مسلمة اشترطت شرطا على رجل استحل به فرجها فلا يحل له إلا أن يفي "
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٩]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: From Ibn Jurayj, who said: Abū al-Zubayr informed me that he asked Ṭāwūs: I said: A woman stipulates at the time of marriage: “I remain with my family; do not take me away from them.” He (Tawus) said: “Every Muslim woman who places a condition upon a man by which he makes her lawful (in marriage), it is not permissible for him except that he fulfills it (so the condition is valid).” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 229]

Jabir ibn Zayd Abu al-Sha'tha

، قال أبو الزبير : وسمعت أبا الشعثاء : يقول : " كل امرأة شرطت على زوجها استحل به فرجها ، فهو من صداقها " ، وقالوا : إن شرطوا : أنك تطلق فلانة فلا تفعل ؛ لأن النبي - صلى الله عليه وسلم - نهى أن تسأل امرأة طلاق أخرى " .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٩]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: (From Ibn Jurayj) Abū al-Zubayr also said: And I heard Abū al-Shaʿthāʾ say: “Every woman who stipulates upon her husband by which he makes her lawful (in marriage), it is considered part of her dowry.” And they said: If they (wives) stipulate: “You must divorce so-and-so,” do not do it; because the Prophet ﷺ forbade a woman from asking for the divorce of another. [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 229]

٦٦٠ - حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ قَالَ: نا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ، سَمِعَ جَابِرَ ⦗٢١١⦘ بْنَ زَيْدٍ، يَقُولُ: «إِذَا اشْتَرَطَ الرَّجُلُ لِلْمَرْأَةِ دَارَهَا فَهُوَ بِمَا اسْتَحَلَّ مِنْ فَرْجِهَا
[سنن سعيد بن منصور – المجلد ١ – الصفحة ٢١٠]

Sa'eed ibn Mansur mentioned: From Sufyān, from ʿAmr ibn Dīnār, who heard Jābir ibn Zayd say: “If a man stipulates for a woman her home, he is bound by what he has made lawful of her private parts (i.e., her marital rights).” [Sunan Sa'eed ibn Mansur - Volume 1 - Page 210]

10615 عبد الرزاق ، عن ابن جريج قال : أخبرني عمرو بن دينار ، عن أبي الشعثاء ، أنه قال : " إذا شرط أهلها على زوجها : أن دارها دارنا ، وأنك لا تخرج بها ، فهو صداق لها ، ولها أن لا يخرج بها " .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٩]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: From Ibn Jurayj, who said: ʿAmr ibn Dīnār narrated from Abū al-Shaʿthāʾ, who said: “If her family stipulates to her husband that she is to stay with them in their house, this is considered part of her dowry, and she has the right not to be taken out.” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 229]

Umar ibn Abdul-Aziz

( 6 ) حدثنا ابن علية عن أبي حيان قال : نا أبو الزناد أن امرأة خاصمت زوجها إلى عمر بن عبد العزيز قد شرط لها دارها حين تزوجها فأراد أن يخرجها منها فقضى عمر أن لها دارا ، لا يخرجها منها وقال : والذي نفس عمر بيده لو استحللت فرجها بزنة أحد ذهبا لأخذت ما به لها .
[مصنف ابن أبي شيبة – المجلد ٣ – الصفحة ٣٢٧]

Ibn Abi Shaybah mentioned: Ibn ʿUlayyah narrated to us, from Abū Ḥayān, who said: Abū al-Zanād narrated that a woman disputed with her husband before ʿUmar ibn ʿAbd al-ʿAzīz. He (the man) agreed with her condition to not take her out of her home when he married her, but he still intended to take her out of her home. ʿUmar (ibn Abdul-Aziz) ruled that her home is hers and that she may not be removed from it, and he said: “By the One in whose hand is the soul of ʿUmar, even if her private parts had been made lawful for the value of a single gold coin, she would still retain what is due to her.” [Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah - Volume 3 - Page 327]

Imam Ahmad

[٢١٥٠ - إن اشترطت عليه ألا يتزوج عليها]
قال إسحاق بن منصور: قلت: امرأة اشترطت على الرجل عند عقدة النكاح ألا تتزوج علي، ولا تتسرى، ولا تخرجني من داري؟
قال: هذِه الشروط كلها لها، فإن تزوج أو تسرى فهي مخيرةٌ، إن شاءت أقامت معه، وإن شاءت فارقته. قال النبي -صلى اللَّه عليه وسلم-: "إِنَّ أَحَقَّ الشُّرُوطِ أَنْ يُوفَى بِهَا مَا أسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ بِهِ الفُرُوجَ".
قال إسحاق: كما قال.
"مسائل الكوسج" (١٠٧٤)

[Chapter: The wife who stipulates in the marriage contract that her husband cannot take another wife] Ishaq ibn Mansour al-Kawsaj asked Imam Ahmad, "What about the woman who stipulates that her husband cannot marry another woman, nor have a concubine, and not take her out of her own house (to live with him)?" Imam Ahmad replied: "All these conditions are for her (it is her right). If the man marries another woman or takes her out of her house, then she can choose to stay or to divorce him." Ishaq (ibn Rahawayh) agreed with Ahmad. [Masail Kawsaj 1074]

Ali ibn Abi Talib

٦٦٧ - حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدٌ قَالَ: نا سُفْيَانُ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي لَيْلَى، عَنِ الْمِنْهَالِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو، عَنْ عَبَّادٍ، عَنْ عَلِيٍّ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ فِي الرَّجُلِ يَتَزَوَّجُ الْمَرْأَةَ وَشَرَطَ لَهَا دَارَهَا، قَالَ: «شَرْطُ اللَّهِ قَبْلَ شَرْطِهَا»
[سنن سعيد بن منصور – المجلد ١ – الصفحة ٢١٣]

Sa'eed ibn Mansur mentioned: From Sufyān, from Ibn Abī Laylā, from al-Minhāl ibn ʿAmr, from ʿAbbād, from ʿAlī, may Allah be pleased with him, regarding a man who marries a woman and agrees with her condition not to take her away from her home, he said: “The condition of Allah comes before her condition (meaning, it's not binding).” [Sunan Sa'eed ibn Mansur - Volume 1 - Page 213]

Al-Hasan al-Basri

قال معمر : وقال ذلك الحسن قال : " يخرج بها إن شاء "
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٦]

ʿAbd al-Razzāq mentioned: Ma’mar said: And al-Hasan said: “He may take her out (of her home) if he wishes.” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 226]

'Ata

10601 عبد الرزاق ، عن ابن جريج قال : قلت لعطاء : رجل نكح امرأة ، وشرط عليه : أنك لا تنكح ، ولا تستسر ، ولا تخرج بها قال : " لا يذهب الشرط إذا نكحها " .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٥]

Abdurrazzaq mentioned: From Ibn Jurayj, who said: I asked ‘Ata: “A man married a woman and a condition was stipulated upon him: that he shall not marry another woman, nor have sexual relations with another woman (have a concubine), nor take her out [of her town].” He said: “These conditions are void after marrying her.” [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 225]

Qatada

قال معمر : وقاله قتادة أيضا .
[مصنّف عبد الرزّاق – المجلد ٦ – الصفحة ٢٢٦]

ʿAbd al-Razzāq mentioned: Ma’mar said: And Qatāda also said the same. (meaning, such conditions are invalid) [Musannaf Abdurrazzaq - Volume 6 - Page 226]

Imam Shafi'i

قال قائل ما الشرط للرجل على المرأة والمرأة على الرجل مما إبطاله بالشرط خلاف لكتاب الله أو السنة أو أمر اجتمع الناس عليه؟ قيل له إن شاء الله تعالى أحل الله عز وجل للرجل أن ينكح أربعا وما ملكت يمينه فإذا شرطت عليه أن لا ينكح ولا يسرى حظرت عليه ما وسع الله تعالى عليه وقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم (لا يحل للمرأة أن تصوم يوما تطوعا ووجها شاهد إلا بإذنه) فجعل له منعها ما يقربها إلى الله إذا لم يكن فرضا عليها لعظيم حقه عليها وأوجب الله عز وجل له الفضيلة عليها ولم يختلف أحد علمته في أن له أن يخرجها من بلد إلى بلد ويمنعها من الخروج فإذا شرطت عليه أن لا يمنعها من الخروج ولا يخرجها شرطت عليه إبطال ماله عليها قال الله تبارك وتعالى (فواحدة أو ما ملكت أيمانكم ذلك أدنى أن لا تعولوا) فدل كتاب الله تعالى على أن على الرجل أن يعول امرأته دلت عليه السنة فإذا شرط عليها أن لا ينفق عليها أبطل ما جعل لها وأمر بعشرتها بالمعروف ولم يبح له ضربها إلا بحال
[الأم - المجلد ٥ - الصفحة ٧٩]

Imam Shafi'i said: "If someone were to say: “What is an example of a condition a man may place on a woman, or a woman on a man, whose invalidation by condition would contradict the Book of Allah, or the Sunnah, or something upon which the people have agreed?” It will be said to him: Allah Almighty has made it lawful for a man to marry four women, and (to have relations with) what his right hand possesses. So if she stipulates upon him that he may not marry (another) and may not have a concubine, she has prohibited him from what Allah has made permissible for him. And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It is not lawful for a woman to fast a voluntary fast while her husband is present except with his permission.” Thus, he gave him the right to prevent her from doing something that draws her nearer to Allah when it is not obligatory upon her, due to the greatness of his right over her. And Allah Almighty has made him her leader. And I do not know of anyone who disagreed that he may take her from one town to another, and that he may prevent her from going out. So if she stipulates upon him that he may not prevent her from going out, and that he may not take her (elsewhere), then she is stipulating to invalidate what authority he has over her. Allah, Blessed and Exalted, said: “Then marry one, or those whom your right hands possess — that is more likely to prevent you from wrongdoing.” So the Book of Allah shows that the man is obliged to support his wife, and the Sunnah confirms this. So if he stipulates upon her that he will not spend on her, he is invalidating what has been granted to her. And he has been commanded to live with her honorably, and has not been permitted to strike her except in very specific circumstances (hitting lightly, without any harshness or leaving a mark)." [Al-Umm - Volume 5 - Page 79]

Ibn al-Mundhir

وإذا نكح الرجل الْمَرْأَة وشرط لها أن لا ينكح عَلَيْهَا وَلا يتسرى عَلَيْهَا، وَلا يفرق بينها وبين أهلها وَلا يخرجها من بلدها فالنكاح جائز والشرط باطل
[الإقناع - ابن المنذر - المجلد ١ - الصفحة ٣٠٤]

Ibn al-Mundhir said: “If a man marries a woman and certain conditions are made—such as that he will not marry another wife after her, nor have sexual relations with another woman (i.e., a concubine), nor separate her from her family, nor take her out of her town—the marriage itself is valid, but the conditions are void (not binding).” [Al-Iqna' - Ibn al-Mundhir - Volume 1 - Page 304]

From among them are those who said: "The condition is invalid, but it becomes valid when the husband takes an oath to divorce her when he goes against it"

1. "But her condition contradicts the Quran"

Some argued that it would be contradictory to make it a condition that the man cannot take another wife.

This argument is incorrect, because it would only have been contradictory if it did not concern the woman. Polygamy is two-sided.

When the man decides to marry a second wife, the first wife would also be forced to practise polygamy, but she has a choice to engage in it or not.

The woman can therefore decide for herself whether or not she wants to go along with this. For this reason, it is valid and permitted if the woman sets the condition that the man cannot take another wife.

2. "But it is making forbidden what is permitted"

Some argued that when the woman sets this condition, she makes forbidden what is allowed.

This is not the case at all. Setting conditions does not mean that you make something forbidden that is allowed. Because this would then mean that the Prophet (ﷺ) made forbidden what is allowed.

Miswar ibn Makhramah narrated: "Ali ibn Abi Talib proposed to Abu Jahl's daughter when he was married to Fatimah. I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) giving a Khutbah in which he said: "Fatimah is from me and I am afraid that she will be subjected to trials in her religion. I do not make permitted what is forbidden, nor do I make forbidden what is allowed , but by Allah, the daughter of Allah's Messenger (Fatimah) and the daughter of the enemy of Allah (Abu Jahl) can never come together (wives of one man). [Sahih Muslim 2449c, Sahih Bukhari 3110]

It was permissible for 'Ali to marry Abu Jahl's daughter because she became a Muslim, but the Prophet (ﷺ) made it a condition that he cannot do so as long as he is married to Fatimah. Did the Prophet (ﷺ) make Haram which is Halal? No, it is a condition to which the woman is entitled.

Based on this Hadith, several scholars understood that it is valid when the woman makes a condition that the man cannot take another wife nor take her out of her house.

3. "Then she hates what Allah has legislated"

Some believe that putting this condition is proof that the woman hates what Allah has legislated.

So what they claim is false and incorrect. The woman does not make this condition out of hatred towards this law of Allah, but rather because she does not want to go along with it out of jealousy, low Eman or the great effort it requires.

It is not obligatory on the woman to participate in polygamy, so how could some argue that she would hate it when she puts this condition?

This argument is unfair to the woman. She does not make the condition because she hates what Allah has legislated. She only makes this condition because she chooses not to participate in it.

It is a Sunnah to practice polygamy. For example, could we also say that if a Muslim does not perform Sunnah prayers, that he would hate those prayers? No, it remains a choice; the same goes for the woman who has the right to choose whether to participate in polygamy.