What is polygamy?

The term polygamy refers to having multiple partners. The term is officially used for both men and women. For example, the term can also be used for a woman who marries several men.

Within polygamy you have the terms 'polygyny' and 'polyandry'. Polygyny refers to the man marrying more women, while polyandry means a woman marrying more than one man.

In this article, we use the term 'polygamy' to mean a man marrying several women. There are various rulings concering having multiple wives. It is not allowed for a man to be married to ten women for example.

Why polygamy?

You may be wondering what the point of polygamy actually is. The possibility of polygamy exists in Islam. Why is it even a possibility?

Polygamy has several reasons and objectives. It is also used to remedy or facilitate social problems. For example, think of divorced women or children who do not have a father figure.

1. Taking care of orphans

It's hard enough not to have a father figure as an orphan. The Muslim man takes on the role of stepfather to assist the orphaned child.

You might then think that there are other solutions for this. They do exist. Think, for example, of an orphanage and various other foundations that take in orphans. Polygamy offers something extra, namely that the child gets a father figure in his or her life.

The man stands in for the missing, deceased, or unavailable father in the orphan's life. In this way, the child can get the love of a father figure and develop better.

2. Support for the widow

Islam uses polygamy to assist the widow. Divorce can weigh a lot. This is a tough situation where the woman receives little emotional support, love or understanding.

She may also have to raise her children herself. That does not always go as desired. A person can only handle a limited amount of pressure and difficulty.

The Muslim man marries the widow to assist her and be a convenience to her. He lifts the burden of financial maintenance, food and clothing. In addition, she gets the love she longs for and avoids being lonely for short or long periods.

3. Practicing the Sunnah

Another purpose of polygamy is that it gives the man the opportunity to practice the Sunnah. He thus follows the tradition of Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ).

The Prophet (ﷺ) was married to several women. It used to be a well-known form of marriage. It was known before the coming of the Prophet that people abused the rights of wives.

Allah ordered upon the arrival of the Prophet (ﷺ) that Muslims can marry a maximum of four wives. This is to protect the rights of women.

The practice of polygamy can also be seen among Prophets such as Ibrahim and Ya'qoub. The Muslim man is recommended to follow the tradition because it will increase Iman.

4. Male nature

The nature of a man is different from that of a woman. It is a strange thought for women to have more than one man. They wouldn't want this either.

The nature of the man is to be able to have more than one wife, while at the same time offering them their rights. He can love several women at the same time without losing that for one of them. The capacity for giving love is therefore higher in the man.

Allah knows what the nature of man is, therefore polygamy is not forbidden to practice. It also falls under one of the man's rights to be able to exercise this.

Men are naturally capable of wanting multiple partners, although this is not the case with women. Men can give their wives the same amount of attention, time and love.

It is not the case that men have chosen to be that way. This is how the man is created by Allah. Because of this, it is unjustified to place them in a negative light because of their nature.

5. When men are in small numbers

In the past, wars caused a great reduction in men. This made it impossible for women to marry.

In such a situation, it is beneficial for the woman to enter into a polygamous marriage. Then it is not that she has less chance because every man is taken. Her chance exists as long as the man chooses polygamy.

6. If the woman is infertile

If the man has always wanted children, then he is stuck if his wife is barren. He must then accept not to have children and thus not expand his family tree.

Men who wish to have children can still achieve this with polygamy. For example, the husband does not have to consider divorcing his wife (which happens quite often), because he can marry a second wife.

Of course it is possible to adopt a child, but there are different rules and regulations that the man does not always want to cooperate with.

Is polygamy allowed in Islam?

It is permissible for the man to have more than one wife. This is stated in the Quran. This does apply under certain conditions. For example, a man cannot enter a polygamous marriage if he is not ready for it.

If you fear that you will not treat the orphans fairly, marry [other] women: two, three, or four. But if you fear that you will not treat them fairly, [marry one of them], or [marry out] your maidservants. That makes it more likely that you won't act unfairly.
[Surah an-Nisaa verse 3]

It is an established Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ) to have more than one wife. The Prophet (ﷺ) had 11 wives of which 9 were left at a later time.

We also see in various narrations that polygamy is allowed.

Nawfal bin Mu'awiyah Al-Dailee reported: I converted to Islam while I was married to five women. So I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) about it to which he replied: "Divorce one of them so that you keep four.” [Al-Umm of Imam Shafi'i page 175]

Islam is one of the religions that has strictly kept the possibility of polygamy. In the past it was considered a norm among different people to practise polygamy.

With the modernization of the West, monogamous marriage has become more common. Because of this, there are also countries that have made polygamy illegal.

Also in other religions we see that it is allowed to have a polygamous marriage. For example, this is quite common among some Christians and Jews.

How many wives can a man have?

In Islam, a Muslim man is allowed to marry up to four wives at the same time. He cannot have more than four wives. This restriction has been established by the Words of Allah and various narrations of the Prophet (ﷺ).

He may have two, three or four wives. This applies under a set of important conditions. He must be able to handle this and treat them justly. If he fears he cannot, then he should marry only one.

If you fear that you will not treat the orphans fairly, marry [other] women: two, three, or four. But if you fear that you will not treat them fairly, [marry one of them], or [marry out] your maidservants. That makes it more likely that you won't act unfairly.
[Surah an-Nisaa verse 3]

It is an established Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ) to have more than one wife. The Prophet (ﷺ) married 11 wives of which 9 were left at a later time.

Allah placed the restriction on having more than four wives. We also see this in the Hadith.

Nawfal bin Mu'awiyah Al-Dailee reported: I converted to Islam while I was married to five women. So I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) about it to which he replied: "Divorce one of them so that you keep four." [Al-Umm of Imam Shafi'i page 175]

Imam Shafi'i said: "So it is not allowed to have more than four wives. This is based on the Words of Allah and the Hadith of the Prophet (ﷺ)." [Al-Umm of Imam Shafi'i page 175]

The rules of polygamy

Polygamy is a big responsibility in which the wives must have agreed to wanting to participate in it. The wife has the option to stipulate a condition in the marriage contract to disallow polygamy for her husband. Also, seeking her permission is of polygamy would be wise to do.

There are rules to follow when practicing a polygamous marriage. It is not allowed for the man to have more than one wife if he cannot handle it. He must be able to handle this emotionally, financially, physically and mentally.

If you fear that you will not treat the orphans fairly, marry [other] women: two, three, or four. But if you fear that you will not treat them fairly, [marry one of them], or [marry out] your maidservants. That makes it more likely that you won't act unfairly.
[Surah an-Nisaa verse 3]

1. Attention and love

You are supposed to give each of the wives enough attention and love. This is also one of thewife's rights.

However, the man has no control over his heart, but he does over his actions. He should treat his wives fairly.

Aisha narrated: Never have I felt so jealous of the wives of Allah's Apostle (ﷺ), except in the case of Khadija. While I never got to see her. When Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) slaughtered a sheep, he would say: "Send it to the Companions of Khadija." One day I expressed my irritation by telling him that Khadija always has the upper hand in his mind. Thereupon the Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Her love was placed in my heart by Allah Himself." [Sahih Muslim 2435b]

And you will never be able [in feeling] to be equal between wives, even if you strive [to do so]. So do not lean all the way [to one] leaving the other hanging. And if you change [your affairs] and fear Allah, then indeed Allah is always Forgiving and Merciful.
[Surah an-Nisaa verse 129]

The man will not be able to love his women equally. His heart is not under his control. Of course, this is no excuse for treating them unfairly.

2. Time division

The time distribution should be equally divided. It is thus not allowed if the husband stays 4 days with his first wife, 2 days with his second and 1 day with the third.

Wives have the right to a fair distribution of time. For example, he should discuss this with them in order to arrive at a fair treatment.

3. Financial Maintenance

The husband must support his wives financially. That means he should be able to provide for their food, clothing and shelter.

It is a great condition of polygamy to be financially able. It takes a lot from a man to support two, three or four wives.

Is polygamy legal?

It is in England illegal to have multiple civil marriages at once.

A polygamous or Islamic marriage is not considered in England to be official. It is not illegal in England to have multiple partners without a civil marriage.

Abu Athari writes about basic principles within Islam. He uses his critical and well-researched way to spread knowledge of the first three Muslim generations.

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