What are marital problems?

We speak of marital problems when there are things happening between the couple that is breaking their marriage. This can be anything from financial abuse to a lack of intimacy or attention.

It is difficult to deal with marital problems, and it can take a lot of energy from you to try to solve this. Marriage problems do not come out of a sudden. This has been piling up over a period of time.

Most Common Marriage Problems:
  • Financial Abuse
  • Emotional neglect
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Verbal Toxicity
  • Physical violence
  • Dominant partner

1. Identify the problem

You would want to identify the exact problems that you are dealing with in this marriage. Identifying the problem not only gives you clarity, but it helps you to move forward.

There can be many possible problems that are currently causing your marriage to break. Maybe you are dealing with a husband who is not giving you enough attention or enough intimacy, or you are dealing with a wife who is verbally abusive and takes advantage of you financially. It can also be the case that you are feeling exhausted from doing everything in this marriage.

2. Express yourself to your partner

Whenever you identified the problems that are currently breaking your marriage, you would want to express this to your partner.

A good talk and discussion with your partner may help very well. But this can only be the case if your partner is open to have a discussion with you.

Express your needs and problems that you are observing on a soft and gentle manner. Find a good time to talk about this. For example, you would not want to reach out to your partner if he or she is busy doing something.

Do not let your emotions get the better of you when you want to discuss something with your partner. State clearly where your frustrations lie and why.

By means of clear communication, you ensure that the conversation remains focused on achieving a certain goal. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to avoid disagreements, even if you communicate clearly.

3. Try marriage counseling

Whenever you find that a third party may be of great benefit to your situation, you might want to get into marriage counseling.

There are many Islamic counselors who are very good at what they are doing, and you might actually get the exact help you needed to resolve the marital problems.

You could choose whether to go for individual marriage counseling or together with your partner. We provide online individual counseling for marital issues.

A counselor helps you put things into perspective and to give you a clear vision on how to approach the issues you are currently facing in the marriage.

Your partner might not be open to the idea of counseling. Try and convince him or her, if it does not work, then maybe your partner is not taking the marriage very serious.

4. Evaluation

You would want to evaluate the situation of how your partner is handling your concerns. Marital issues can only be solved if the two parties are giving their all to solve the problems.

Whenever you find your partner not willing to make a change or take your concerns seriously, then you might want to consider what to do next.

It can become quite tiring if you are trying to get your partner to take the marriage seriously. Your time and energy is valuable, and you would want to get something positive out of your input.

Unfortunately, not every partner is willing to change or take the marriage seriously. In such case, hope for a better future is not there, as input must come from both partners, not one.

5. Setting boundaries

Your boundaries were crossed multiple times, as you are dealing with marital problems. It is up to you to put a stop to this by giving it a last chance.

If you find your partner crossing your boundaries again after having warned him, then this can be quite frustrating to experience.

You want to be taken serious and respected as a wife or husband. To set and maintain clear boundaries means to protect yourself from injustice and abuse.

6. Decide how to go further

If your boundaries are being crossed multiple times while having made clear that you do not want to proceed like this, then you might want to consider divorce as the last resort.

At this phase, you tried everything, but unfortunately, nothing worked to your favor. Your partner is not willing to make a positive change, and such a marriage can take you down together with your health and well-being.

If you have kids, the decision of divorce may be bigger to make than without kids. You have to consider what would be the right thing to decide for yourself. Choosing for divorce is not wrong, sometimes this is necessary.

Get a second opinion on what to do in your situation. Marriage counseling might help you make a better decision.

Consequences of marital problems

Having marital issues can a take a toll on your health and well-being. The constant stress and exhaustion can make you feel very hopeless and depressed.

An unhappy marriage may also give you the impression that you will have to live like this for the rest of your life. This does not have to be the case. You deserve to have a marriage that makes you happy and content. After all, a marriage in Islam is ultimately meant to be a means of comfort and ease.

Abu Athari writes about basic principles within Islam. He uses his critical and well-researched way to spread knowledge of the first three Muslim generations.

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