Who is a narcissistic partner?
Having a partner who is treating you badly is very tiring and frustrating. Your partner may exhibit some narcissistic traits like being selfish, not spending enough time with you or calling you disrespectful names.
Whether your partner is a full blown narcissist or a person who scores high in narcissistic traits, it is never fun to be in such relationship. It tires you out and depletes your energy.
In most cases, when people complain about their abusive partner, it is the wife complaining about her abusive husband. But there are also many cases where men complain about their abusive wife.
A narcissist can be found in both men and women. The men tend to be more physically aggressive and score higher on the diagnosis of 'Malignant Narcissist', which is a mixture of Psychopathy and Narcissism. But there are also women who are diagnosed as such.
As for narcissists who don’t engage in violence, both men and women are diagnosed with this condition at roughly the same rate.
Evaluate whether you are dealing with a narcissist or just someone with narcisstistic traits. Because this gives you clarity on which steps you can take to deal with it in the best way possible.
In this article, we discuss how you can deal with a full blown narcissist, someone who can be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
1. Research the topic of narcissism
There is a lot to learn from what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is, to the way they act and the way they think.
True narcissists are controlling and demand attention or admiration. They need you to comply to their needs and wishes, while ignoring yours.
The narcissist's main concern is himself and only himself. Your only role is to provide him with what he needs from you, which could be four: intimacy, attention, services, permanent presence.
When you know with what personality you are dealing with, it becomes clear to you that there really is no hope for change in this person. Their disorder is so ingrained that you cannot take it out of them.
2. Evaluate the damage
Listen to your body, take some time to really consider yourself. You have been in pain for a long time, and this has to be taken into consideration.
Just like you eat food when you are hungry, you should also listen to your pain. What has the narcissist done to you that has hurt you the most? Was it the neglect, emotional abuse or verbal abuse?
It also helps to get help through counseling from professionals who are specialized in this field. It then becomes easier to map out the problems and hurt you are facing.
3. Seek professional help
It is horrible to deal with a narcissist. The feeling of aloneness and emotional abuse eats you up, which seems to just not go away.
Maybe you have already reached out for help from friends or family, but you have not found the solution to this problem yet.
It is important to seek help through counseling from experts who have specialized in the field of narcissistic abuse.
4. Supplicate to Allah
Supplication is always powerful when you intend to take action and really try to solve the problem. Ask Allah for some ease and release of pain. But keep in mind that supplication is not the solution, you must follow it up with action.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no veil between them and Allah."
[Sahih Bukhari 4347]
Having a narcissist as your partner is very painful and hard to deal with. They tend to be aggressive either physically, emotionally, or both.
Allow yourself to really feel safe and free again, take back control over your life and make life livable without suffering from constant loneliness and depletion.